Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Chasing Cars

"If I lie here, if I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"
Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars

All it takes is a moment, for the universe to rob your solid ground below when you are busy chasing other things which seem so important, that next deadline, that next meeting, that next exam. When you are so busy chasing other things, life could just suddenly vanish before your eyes and all you are left with will be flashes of memories of times when you last laughed together, when you last cried together and when enough time passes you by, you forget the sounds of those memories and no matter how much you try to call out, the silence only becomes louder. 

"Interviewer: Why can’t you be alone without Yoko?

John Lennon: But I can be alone without Yoko, but I just have no wish to be. There’s no reason on earth why I should be alone without Yoko. There’s nothing more important than our relationship, nothing. And we dig being together all the time. Both of us could survive apart but what for? I’m not going to sacrifice love, real love for any whore or any friend or any business, because in the end you’re alone at night and neither of us want to be. and you can’t fill a bed with groupies. It doesn’t work. I don’t want to be a swinger. I’ve been through it all and nothing works better than to have someone you love hold you."

Sunday, November 4, 2012

9 Friends I Can't Wait to Meet

      "I might have to wait, I'll never give up
                                                                            I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
                                                                            Wherever you are, whenever it's right
                                                                            You'll come out of nowhere and into my life"

                                                                            Michael Buble, I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Christian Grey in the 50 shades trilogy. I mean... who wouldn't want a  young billionaire with anger issues that only you can solve and then there are the helicopter rides, and begging you to stay and the mansion and the cars and his hugest worry is your safety and then there is all the exciting... times 

Having a friend like Barney would be legen...wait for it... dary.  Imagine all the stories of the day after that you would get to hear and then there are all his wonderful theories to keep me entertained and then at the end of the day... the man sure suits up well.
There should always be the friend who shops more than you do so no matter how much you shop, you wouldn't feel so bad yourself. And then, there will be all the clothes that she can't wear anymore and all the dresses you could borrow for any event and then she would bring you to the best deals where she would know the owners of the shop by now and... the possibilities suddenly becomes endless *bright teary eyed with hope*

The lawyer who could get you out of anything and who also knows celebrities who owe him lots. The one with the hard shell outside but deep inside he should have a place for someone special and you want that person to be you. He has also finished his associate years so now he is balling and has time for you. 

The hilarious man who doesn't even know that he is funny wtf When you're having a bad day.. all you have to do is call and he'll tell you all about his and then all is well again

Every Disney princess always has her sidekick so I want mine too wtf I guess I have my bunny. awwwww....bunny...awwwwwww 

In the movies, the gorgeous girl characters always have that gay best friend who would tell them what to wear and how to do their hair and do their makeup and excitedly exclaim OMGosh for every single thing that they do. 
Yoda because he's just so cute and fury and knows the answers to all your unwise questions wtf

                      God. So I can ask him for my 3 wishes.. oh wait, that's the genie. 

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Some Days

"It's the simple things in life like when and where"
Kid Rock, All Summer Long

Today in Unicornland... It is Pictures of Vain Princesses Day

Thursday, November 1, 2012

One Unique Thing About Me

"Que Sera Sera, 
 Whatever will be, will be"
Doris Day, Que Sera Sera

During ice breakers, besides this little nonsense
            "How much does a penguin weigh"
            "Enough to break the ice. Hi.... I'm *acts cute and says name"

There is always the "What is your name?" Easy, it's Princess
                             "What do you study/what's your major?" Easy, if you still remember
               and then " What is one unique thing about you?" uh....uh....

I don't want to try too hard and sound lame. And then there are all those other things that other people have done. And if the person before you says he climbed Mt Everest and the other said he took a dump on the moon... then... you don't sound so interesting anymore wtf with your "erm...erm...I love pink!" 

So...I thought of something that might not be so unique but I guess it works enough not to have awkward pauses after your turn and then the awkward.. haha..ha..ha...haha from MYSELF wtf. 

So..here it is. I wish I was a hippie. Not like the kind that lives in their parent's basement after the hippie stage

And eats scraps of leftovers from the puppy....

But like... the kind who becomes a billionaire, and then coolly says "I used to be a hippie" and the whole world preorders whatever I sell... even if it just a slightly longer version of the last thing I sold


My Dream Job

"But just believe me girl, someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
 We'll have it good, we'll have the life we knew we would"
 Plain White Tees, Hey There Delilah

You know how when you are young, people tell you to follow your dreams? Well, I did not want to be a doctor or lawyer or astrounout or Prime Minister. What I really wanted was... to be a Princess. Princess Claire.

                                                      I could be an Asian Princess

                                                            Unicorn Princess..

                                                 I'd even setlle for Merlion Princess

                                               And all I would eat are little cupcakes

And I would stare into my kingdom every morning (past 1pm)

But then......I found out that unicorns aren't real *waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa wtf waaaaaaaaa*

And then...
William got married to Kate *waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa wtf waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*

So... I will still not give up! So.. I continue to look for my knight in shinning armour

.... but found out that Malaysia is too hot for shinning armours hahahahahaha
So I continue on my merry way and continue to dream...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Dear Alvin and Vivian

"Count to ten, take it in,
This is life before you know who you're gonna be"
Taylor Swift, Fifteen

When I told a friend that I was starting a blog, he asked me "Is it safe to read?"I was like wtfhewvdxhvehxve of course it's safe to read, why wouldn't it be? Then I was lead to read the whole scandal involving Malaysians in Singapore who post pictures of themselves engaged in various sexual activities on their blog called Sumptuous Erotica. Sounds so sexual wtf. I was reading through the online articles from the Star and got more and more puzzled. This is how they look like:
Photo Credits: Youtube, The Star(capture)

And there were a million comments because Malaysians like our opinions to be heard wtf most of them ranged from wtf why are you shamming your family and village and goat to why the hell is Vivian so ugly? Will not comment on the first but the second is so wtfbbq why do people always comment on how the girl looks when there is some scandal? It is like omg she did something wrong now I can comment on how she looks without feeling bad hahahaha and then feel self righteous because she deserves to be stoned wtf. In all honesty, I don't think she looks bad.

But then, being the Malaysian I am I also want my opinion to be heard hahahahahahah wtf. So assuming that The Star reported what she actually said, I am curious as to... 

Dear Vivian, the Internet is not meant for private affairs. Also, you said that you intended for the world to see how much you love each other. I think that is called marriage wtf

HUH? When is it OK for Westerners to do it? If it were say... 
then yes I am sure half of the world's population or more would love for him to have a blog like yours hahahaha but I find it funny how Malaysians tend to say "Why is it ok for Westeners to do xyz..." 

Tell me how that goes

Also... what I would really really really like to know is
How do you concentrate on having sex while thinking of how and what to post on your blog? Isn't hard enough to concentrate without thinking of say... what to eat for dinner/are you too loud/why is it so ticklish/should we get a new bed/what was the lyrics to that song/should I have showered first... wtf. 

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Happy Halloween

"You say it best, when you say nothing at all"
Ronan Keating, When You Say Nothing At All

How to Make A Monster for Halloween

"Cause this is thriller, thriller night"
Michael Jackson, Thriller

I was in America when I first saw this ugly looking doll which costs about 30USD for a normal sized one. It just looks so silly when you put it in a room of normal looking teddy bears. Then... a wave of artsyness hit and it became the cutest thing in the world! Now I am obsessed and am trying to spread the love for this creature.

OMG there are so many of them!!! I'm dying of cuteness

My Own Ugly! It has a face only a mother could love and that sums up the love I feel for my Ugly (called Uppy) because I feel like she needs to be protected from the world.

So, to spread my love for Ugly around the world, I decided to start gifting them so that others will understand the motherlove I feel. And then... I came home to Malaysia and it is unavailable/rediculously expensive. So, like the true Malaysian I am, I decided to make my own copy of it.

#1 draw ugly's outline on a piece of paper and trace into cloth which has been folded in two. Of course #pre-1 is buy cloth

#2 pin the two sides of cloth together 

#3 Cut out shape with a sharp pair of scissors

#4 Cut out eyes from white cloth

#5 saw eyes on and add black part of eyes with black thread. Cut out some black strip or use a thin ribbon for mouth. Make a mouth or teeth(whichever you think is cuter) from another small strip of cloth
#6 sew the two pieces of cloth(besides the head area) inside out and then turn it around. 

#7 The smaller parts like hands are difficult to turn around, so use twizzers to pull them out. 

#8 Add cotton from the top(the head part which has not been sewn).

I forgot to take pictures of this one, It follows basically the same steps

The end

Now go and spread some ugly love to the world <3 <3 <3

Surpriseeee... I'm Ugly!

Source: MSN News

Was thinking of deep philosophical thoughts with classical music in the the background when I stumbled upon this vapid news. OK fine, I was doing nothing of use and then my friend told me about this and I as curious as my bunny so I googled it and thought it was hilarious. 

I always thought about how babies would turn out if their mum or dad did plastic surgery and looked like the most gorgeous thing on earth and then their kids turn out like... People always try to talk about how everyone in the world is beautiful and stuff like that... but ugliness is just the compliment of beauty, one can't exist without the other. 

But hahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHhahahhahahahHhahahah this piece of news is hilarious. I wonder what the judge said to her, "I'm sorry, you are guilty of being UGLY" haahahahahahahhaa I guess I always felt a little like it's not "right" when other people have plastic surgery because it feels kinda like it was not given. I cannot make my little brain smarter even though I am Asian and we are supposed to have smart genes wtf, why can someone make their nose sharper/eyes bigger/lips poutier. I guess it is fair in the end because it can't  be passed onto your genes, and hey, if they are willing to go through the pain of getting it done(the only reason I am not getting a certain part of my anatomy larger haha wtf), then I guess they deserve having whatever feature they want to enhance. 

Oh wait.. I read it again. POOR BABY. now the baby is going to be forever known as the ugly baby and he will have to have plastic surgery and then his kids and his kids kids and oh nooooo *cries a little for the little baby*

OMGGGGG...Don't tell me that this news is fake. I spent a whole 30 minutes thinking about it. 

Why Come Home to Malaysia?

"I hear the sounds, from the places where I was born"
Swedish House Mafia, Don't You Worry Child

When I learnt that I was going to the US for four years to make friends, party, learn to save the world and obtain a great education, one of the first advice that I get from most people is to find a job there and not to come back. With exactly that goal in mind, I made sure to get into a great university there, make lots of friends from places which are not Malaysian and lose all the lahs and ehs from my normal conversations. It worked for 3 years until I came back in the summer of 2011. I found an amazing internship opportunity in KL which at the time, I just thought of as an excellent way to meet new friends and party wtf.

But as the universe has a weird way of giving you what you want in ways that you did not ask for, it did. During that one little summer, I was reminded of all the reasons I loved this place so much to begin with. It all starts with the people... and then there is this list of things that I can think of that should make anyone who is thinking about returning return to the  
                                                                                                     motherland wtf.

 #1 Cheap good local food

#2 Places to eat for when you are feeling more pretentious

#3 It is not weird to camwhore in public

#4 There are beautiful maidens everywhere wtf
#5 And of course there's always family
#6 And mermaids..

#7 And weird warnings from our government

Of course, there is a lot more to think about, but right now I think I made the best decision. There has been a lot of change and a lot more in the process, and the most important thing is to build a circle of friends, and with that everywhere suddenly becomes more fun.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

He say one and one and one is three

" Que voy a hacer... Je ne sais pas"
   Me Gustas Tu, Manu Chao

I usually spend a long time cooking when I can, it's one of my favoritestttt things to do. Somehow today, I got caught up in a million things and it was 2pm and I realized that I have eaten nothing:( So I was going to microwave something but realized that I don't know how the time setting really works and the last time something went in there it turned out like this....

While I do enjoy extra baked buns, I thought it be better than I come up with a 15 minute meal to trick myself into thinking that I am living a healthy lifestyle. Sooooo, in case you are too lazy to cook/are hopeless in the kitchen but want to cook for someone/are afraid of the microwave... here's a lazy guide to cooking in 15 minutes *ahemmmm bf if you are reading this*

#1 Take little beef strips out of the fridge. These costed only RM 3.30 from Giant...*beams with housewifelike pride with good household bargains wtf*

#2 Season with pepper, salt and some mixed herb shaker thing. By season, I mean drown.  Now, you can ignore it for a while
#3 While ignoring the little beef strips, boil pasta in salt water

#4 Chop garlic and fry in olive oil. There was supposed to be chilli flakes but this is a special version of this... fine no.. I forgot to buy chilli flakes. So let's ignore that part of it.

#5 Pour this on the pasta...after draining the water and putting the pasta on the plate.

#6 Fry beef with a little bit of olive oil til you think it looks cooked.

#7 Put all on a decent looking plate so it looks like you spent more than 15 minutes on this.

#8 If the plate still doesn't do it, put in front of things that make you feel cultured/artsy/creative/etc and put on some jazz or something pretentious like that wtf